"I Had Prayed To God That This Thing Was Fiction…"

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Mostly, though, I am struck by how little of these events I can or even wish to remember and how little any of us wanted to think about them at the time. I worked in Washington for many months on the matter of the massacres, surrounded by my fellow officers and friends. At no time, even long after the question of security had ceased to be of any conceivable relevance, do I remember ever talking to a single person about any of it. I do remember being startled when the public seemed to make a hero out of Rusty Calley, or at the least a victim. It sure didn’t look that way from up close.