Paul Berman’s celebration of the changes in home and family over the past 50 years is the truth, but not the whole truth.
Fifty years ago, in theory, if not always in practice, family members were locked into restricted roles. Men went to work and were largely absent from the home; women stayed home and were largely absent from the community. The end of those restrictive roles has been a benefit to families like mine. Both my wife and I have careers, so our income does not rely on just one of us and is therefore more secure. When our children were young, we worked part-time, so each of us has strong bonds with both of our children. Most of the fathers I know have similarly strong connections with their children, and most of the women I know work. In contrast, when I was a toddler, my father left for work before I woke up in the morning and came home after I was asleep; he often worked Saturdays as well. My mother, a bright woman, didn’t go to college and left work when she married. Once the children grew up, she was bored, but when she tried to go back to work, she found she wasn’t up to it after all those years.