Indigestion, Salt Rheum, And Cash On The Barrelhead

In our June/July, 1978, issue we ran a short article having to do with Mark Twain’s invention of a “self-pasting” scrapbook, then followed it up with a “Postscripts” feature in the February/March, 1979, issue that emphasized Twain’s willingness to write promotional letters for the use of the scrapbook’s manufacturer, the Slote & Woodman Company. Now, Robert Daley of the Burbank Studios of California sends along yet another promotional squib put out by the author of Huckleberry Finn : Certificate Messrs. Slote, Woodman & Co.:

I hereby certify: That during many years I was afflicted with cramps in my limbs, indigestion, salt rheum, enlargement of the liver, & periodical attacks of inflammatory rheumatism complicated with St. Vitus’s dance, my sufferings being so great that for months at a time I was unable to stand upon my feet without assistance, or speak the truth with it. But as soon as I had invented my Self-Pasting Scrap Book & began to use it in my own family, all these infirmities disappeared. In disseminating this universal healer among the world’s afflicted ones you are doing a noble work; & I sincerely hope you will get your reward—partly in the sweet consciousness of doing good, but the bulk of it in cash. Very Truly Yours,Mark Twain

Given under my hand this 10th day of February, A.D. 1878.